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Extended Top 11 List

In conjunction with our recent Top 11 list on KaZaA, we're pleased to bring you an extended dance mix, containing all of the top suggestions tendered by your fellow Network Computing readers. Enjoy. Top 11 Signs your ISP has given...
March 07, 2003

In conjunction with our recent Top 11 list on KaZaA, we're pleased to bring you an extended dance mix, containing all of the top suggestions tendered by your fellow Network Computing readers. Enjoy.

Top 11 Signs your ISP has given you up to the RIAA as a dangerous KaZaA user

  • You receive an email from your ISP asking you to update your personal information, including your real name -- Jason Olson
  • Your MP3 'sharing' software starts to us SSL to encrypt it's transmissions -- Jason Olson
  • Every file, regardless of the title, only plays Sting's "I'll Be Watching You." -- Eric Newsome
  • When you do a search on Marilyn Manson the results that come back are 'Diamonds are a girl's best friend' and 'Helter Skelter' -- Jay Eggers
  • You get a bill in the mail charging you 99 cents per downloaded track. Total bill... $297000 -- Brian Tunget
  • Your ISP forwards you an e-mail from Kazaa congratulating you on your one-millionth download -- Pete Baurer
  • Your Kazaa rating changes from "Supreme being" to "Defendant" -- Rick Snaric
  • All the usual Orbitz pop up ads have been replaced with ads for defense lawyers -- Rick Snaric
  • All of your google searches return links to court summons in pdf format -- Rick Snaric
  • Your digital camera takes new pictures when you plug it in to download old pictures -- Brad Davis
  • You start getting spam from the U.S. Justice Department -- Kevin Pruett
  • You get daily emails encouraging you install Service Pack 3 on your Windows 2000 -- Bryan Shane
  • Hillary Rosen starts sending you e-mails at 3 a.m. with embedded WAV files of heavy breathing -- Randy Woods
  • You download what you think is the new Chili Peppers album only to find you now have 13 copies of the new Michelle Branch single -- Kurt Loy
  • My email used to end with "shaw.ca", suddenly they've changed it to "shawshank.ca" -- Rob Davis
  • Your IP address appears on America's Most Wanted -- Mark Jass
  • The Kazaa name now reads AhHaa! -- K. Prewett
  • You have numerous songs from someone named LIRVA Lavigne -- Travis Rogers
  • All of the buttons in KaZaA have changed to "Buy it now!" -- Howard Blair
  • You load in your favorite MP3 layout into Nero and all the files are now "Lars Ulrich sings 'Feelings'." -- Howard Blair
  • All the spam in your Inbox is from Jack Valenti -- Howard Blair
  • You find 2,000 copies of "Hilary Rosen Nude.jpg" in your KaZaA download -- Howard Blair
  • CD-shaped crop circles appear in your back yard. (Can I have a glass of water?) -- Howard Blair
  • Metallica shows up at your house...and eggs, shaving-creams, and TP's your car -- Howard Blair
  • You get kicked of the campus network for downloading the theme song to "spongebob squarepants." -- Ryan Moore
  • Bobby Brown, Vanilla Ice, and MC Hammer are picketing outside your home with signs that read, "Piracy doesn't pay my bills." -- Douglas R. Fioto
  • You receive a strange request from someone using an excessive amount of outdated hacker wanna-be slang claiming that a friend said you could "hook them up" with the latest Snoop Dog album. -- Patrick Kingsley
  • Eminem insults your mother in his next single -- Rod R
  • Your computer suddenly has a Tommy Mottola screen saver -- Rod R
  • Greta Van Sustern starts taking your calls -- Rod R
  • Bill O'Reilly stops taking your calls -- Rod R
  • Instead of X10 cameras and Orbitz travel, all of your pop up ads feature Tommy Motola handing you a subpoena -- Benjamin Gerhart
  • Every time you go to a file sharing site, a pop-up asks "You know you're breaking the law, don't you?" -- David Petrie
  • You use Kazaa and you read in the newspaper that the RIAA has filed 180 million copyright infringement lawsuits -- Steve Fuller
  • Your ISP sends you a singing telegram alerting that includes 15 lawyers to explain your rights to the telegram before you listen to it -- Jeff Lynes
  • The latest song that was downloaded and played, generously installed riaa.dll on the Windows box -- Gene Barlow
  • When you start receiving bills from Columbia House for thousands of CD's.....which is strange since you haven't bought any since 1992.... -- Steve Bruhn
  • You need to deposit a nickel into your computer before each song starts -- Fred Swirbul
  • You left your house with your computer turned on and KaZaA running, and came home to find it displaying the message "NTOSKRNL.EXE not found - you took our stuff, so we took yours." -- Kevin Gennuso

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